Beyond your Reach
by Cygne
Summary: The only person who can understand the pain of striving for an unattainable love is someone who suffers the same way. An AU KougaAyame oneshot.


(A/N Alright... this is an Alternate Universe oneshot about Kouga and Ayame. I hope you enjoy it! Please review with comments and/or suggestions! I would be so happy! The rating is for language...)

Disclaimer: I own nothing that belongs to someone else. That means the characters... etc...

**Beyond your Reach**

_By Cygne_

"Ayame!" Kagome cried, embracing the young wolf demon tightly. "How are you? I haven't seen you in weeks!"

The redhead grinned, returning the hug. "I know. You've been so busy with a certain somebody that you've missed all our girls' nights. What exactly does he do that is so much more entertaining?"

The older girl blushed scarlet to her hairline and mumbled incoherently.

"Oh, come on," Ayame teased, pushing her shoulder playfully. "Even innocent children like me can understand that his kind of company can be more appealing than a bunch of girls."

The hostess smiled.

"Here, take this," Ayame demanded, shoving a bottle of sake into her friend's arms. "I have to speak with that boyfriend of yours."

"Yeah?" queried said boyfriend, stepping into view. "What about, runt?"

Ayame drew herself to her full height, just under his nose. "You have to learn to share, mutt!"

"Why should I share with you?" he scoffed, quirking a dark eyebrow.

Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka tittered nervously on the sofa, not quite comfortable with the play-fighting between the two semi-canines. Hojo watched with a perplexed smile on his open face.

The younger girl pouted and clung to Kagome's arm, simpering, "Because I love Kagome too!"

Inuyasha grinned evilly. "Well, Ayame! I had no idea you leaned _that_ way!"

Green eyes flashing with amused mortification, she released her friend's arm to clobber the maniacal half-demon. "Not in that way, you moron!"

He laughed at her, easily dodging her flailing fists when the doorbell rang. Kagome answered the door.

"Sango! Miroku!" the young woman squealed, hugging each new arrival in turn. When she had finished, she stepped back to give them a scrutinizing stare. "You two didn't come _together_, did you?"

"W-what?" Sango stammered, her cheeks quickly turning bright red. "N-no! Of c-course not! I-I mean—"

Miroku smoothly took over explaining. "What Sango is trying to say, Kagome, is that we just happened to arrive at the same time. Though, I am honored to have arrived at the same moment as such a lovely woman."

Sango and Kagome rolled their eyes heavenward.

"Hi, Kagome," a soft masculine voice said somewhat timidly from behind the newcomers.

Ayame's ears immediately perked up and she turned to smile at him, though she knew that he wouldn't notice. He only had eyes for one girl.

"Kouga!" the girl greeted cheerily, beaming at him, but not attacking him with a hug as she had done to her other guests. "I'm so glad you came."

"How could I resist an invitation from you?" he asked silkily, offering her a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Inuyasha appeared protectively behind his girlfriend to accept the gift before Kagome could. "Hello, Kouga," he growled, his tone barely civil.

"Inuyasha…" the wolf demon replied, his eyes boring a hole through his rival in love.

"Hey, Kouga!" Ayame called, desperate to stop the inevitable scene before it started. "Come here and take a seat!" He complied after another scowl at Inuyasha.

Shippo arrived soon after, followed by Sesshoumaru and Kagura. When everyone was settled in the living room, chatting comfortably, Sango finally asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"So, what's the occasion?"

Both Inuyasha's and Kagome's cheeks became decidedly pinker.

"Well…?" Shippo prodded eagerly.

Inuyasha cleared his throat, deciding to be brave. "Er… Kagome and I… We're engaged…"

There was a brief moment of awed silence before the chaos erupted.

"Oh my God!" Sango babbled, leaping from her spot on the sofa to smother Kagome in a hug. "I can not _believe_ that he finally worked up the nerve to pop the question! Congratulations!"

"Nor can I," Miroku chimed in, clapping Inuyasha on the shoulder. "I am truly impressed. I thought your bravery was restricted to more violent areas."

"When's the ceremony?" Shippo begged, tugging on an already irritated Inuyasha's hair. "Am I invited?"

"Of course!" Kagome said, positively glowing, "You're all invited!"

Ayame joined in with the congratulations and merry-making, but her mind was on the suspiciously quiet figure who sat like a statue on the sofa.

'Poor Kouga… This is going to be hard on him…'

-

She didn't realize that he was missing until quite a while after he had left. When she did notice, her self-loathing was overwhelming. She should have been watching over him more carefully on a night like this.

"Kagome, have you seen Kouga?" she asked with feigned nonchalance.

"Um… I think he left an hour ago."

'An hour… He'd already had a few drinks… Tonight, he'll probably want a whole lot more than he can get here.' Ayame knew where he'd be and that by now he would be in no condition to get home on his own.

She politely made her goodbyes and hopped a bus to Kouga's favorite Kagome-sorrow-drowning bar: the Lunar Eclipse. She burst through the heavy door and into the dimly lit bar, ignoring the various catcalls and propositions from the inebriated male clientele. All of her concentration was reserved for finding Kouga.

And there he was, slumped over the counter, staring forlornly through his half-full glass. She slid onto the empty stool next to him.

"What'll you have?" the rugged bartender asked gently. They had an unusual relationship, Ayame and the barkeep. She was a regular that he knew he shouldn't be happy to see, but couldn't help liking despite what her appearances meant.

She gave him a weak smile. "Nothing right now, thanks."

He nodded sympathetically and moved to other customers.

"You didn't have to come, Ayame," the moping demon beside her muttered, only slurring his words a little.

"I know," she murmured, tracing her finger over the all too familiar designs on a coaster.

He groaned softly and lifted his head to rest in his hands. "You wouldn't think it'd be this hard to see her engaged. I mean, after how it felt, how damn much it hurt, when she started going out with that bastard, I didn't think it could get any worse." He sighed and took a swig of his drink. "But it is… It feels like shit. Marriage is just so much more… final."

Ayame could easily imagine. Unrequited love that endured for years was painful, especially when the object of affection was fixated on someone else. She knew that pain hauntingly well. Although, she at least had _some_ hope, however faint and far-fetched it was. Marriage would destroy that hope.

"You must think I'm pretty stupid," he continued with a self-depreciating bark of laughter. "Holding onto this when there wasn't ever a snowball's chance in Hell that it'd work. I should've gotten over it long before _this_ happened." He finished his drink and signaled for the bartender to bring another.

Ayame let him, too buried in her own thoughts to remember Kouga's already intoxicated state.

"Well, go on!" he growled suddenly, tired of her silence. He whirled to glower at her. "Go on, laugh! It's fuckin' hilarious, after all! I know you want to! Hell, even I want to!" He tried, but it came out as more of a broken sob. "Dammit! Should be so funny…"

"I don't think it's funny."

"You don't?" He stared at her, trying to assess her honesty. Seeing her resolute sincerity, he calmed a little, resigning himself to sulk into his tilting glass. "No, you wouldn't. You never did…" He brought his face inches from hers and studied it intensely. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. Just when she was starting to feel uncomfortable, he slurred, "You know, you have really pretty eyes…"

She rolled those brilliant green eyes as she pulled away. "Okay, Kouga. I think you've had enough to drink." Gently, she removed the glass from his hands.

He snatched it back and glared at her mischievously. "Come on, Ayame. I'm fine. I can take a little liquor. I want a bit more… I need a bit more."

She let him take the glass back and tried a new tactic. "It's getting pretty late," she said softly, peering at her watch. "You should go home. Don't you have work tomorrow?" Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she gauged his reaction. Much to her relief—she didn't want to have to drag him out kicking and crying like last time—he was taking the bait.

"You're right, maybe I should…" He set his glass down on the bar a bit too forcefully and rose to his feet. Walking, however, proved to be beyond his ability. He wavered dangerously for a moment, and then tipped over.

Ayame was there to catch him before he even noticed he was falling. "Whoa!" she yelped, grabbing his arm and securing it over her shoulder. "Be careful, you dolt!" She straightened, easily baring enough of his weight that he could stumble beside her.

"Maybe I can't go home right now," he mumbled.

With a sigh, she carefully reached into her purse and withdrew her wallet. "Bill please!" she called to the bartender.

He was immediately ready with it and she paid quickly. "Thanks, Ayame. Be safe, you hear?"

"I'll be okay," she replied with a grateful smile. Shifting her second half's weight, she turned them towards the door. "Come on, you lump, let's get you home."

Once again, Ayame thanked all that was holy that Kouga chose to get sloshed at a bar that was not too far from his apartment. He was a muscular man and, though Ayame was very athletic, carrying him for more than a few blocks would be draining. She sighed into the calm city night and rounded a corner.

"Hey, Ayame?" her load began in a whisper.

"Mm?"

"Thanks." He wasn't looking at her when she glanced over at him. He was staring at the pavement beneath his shoes, too ashamed to meet the girl's eyes.

"The tab wasn't that big," she said dismissively, keeping her eyes straight ahead so as not to embarrass him. "You never could take much alcohol before you lose it."

"Not that," he said, almost too softly to be heard. "I mean, thanks for… everything."

She kept walking, surprising herself with her amazing composure. Her mind was in utter turmoil. It was at rare times like these that she could pretend that he cared about her like she cared about him. These instances made her heart swell near bursting point, made tears well in her eyes. She knew that he would keep talking, though, and something he said would bring her crashing back into reality's heartache. How she wished that, just this once, he would just shut up and leave it the way it was. But he never did.

"You're always there for me, Ayame," he told her carefully, haltingly, "even when I don't even think I need you. You always know when I will. You're a great kid."

There it was. She tried not to flinch. He still thought of her as a kid. She was four years younger, but she never felt the age barrier to be as solid as he saw it. If they could be friends despite the four year gap, why couldn't he see her as a peer?

He wasn't finished with his confession yet. "Whatever guy you choose is damn lucky!" he insisted, finally looking at her. "You choose anybody yet?"

"Yeah," she admitted, not able to return his gaze, "but he doesn't feel the same way."

Kouga scowled at no one in particular, shaking his head in disbelief. "He's an idiot."

Ayame laughed feebly. "Yeah, he is."

They walked clumsily to Kouga's apartment building's door in silence, both lost in their own aching hurt. Each felt the same sting of scorned, ignored love. Ayame often thought of telling him how much she loved him, but she knew that it would only make things worse. Sure, some weight might be lifted from her shoulders, but only to be replaced by more pain. Revealing her feelings would not change how he felt about her or Kagome. If some man were to profess his undying love to Ayame, she would not suddenly feel less for Kouga. She would continue to adore him, even if it would cause the other man pain. There was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing Kouga could do about it. That's just the way it was.

"Give me your keys," she said when they reached the doors.

He dug through his pockets with a confused expression, but brightened when he discovered his key. After a few stumbling attempts to put the key in the lock, Ayame took it from him and opened the door herself.

Together they made their way up the narrow staircase to Kouga's apartment. She unlocked the door and pushed it in with her foot.

"Okay, you're home," she sighed with relief, half-dragging him into his den.

He looked around blearily. "Yep."

She rolled her eyes. "Let's get you to bed."

Carefully, she helped him into his room and untied his shoes. She barely got his button-up shirt off before he rolled away from her, settling himself for sleep.

"G'night, Ayame," he mumbled with a yawn, "Thanks, kid."

"You're welcome…" she whispered, noticing that he was already asleep, "my idiot."

With a quiet sigh, she got a few painkillers out of his medicine cabinet and set them on his bedside table along with a small glass of water. He'd need them in the morning.

He looked so different when he slept. All of the tension vanished from his face, leaving nothing but his natural strong, handsome features. With practiced ease, she let his hair down and ran her fingers through the silky locks.

She crouched by his bed for a long time, just studying his face and toying with his bangs. "You know," she barely whispered, "a long time ago, you told me you'd marry me." She laughed softly, imagining how flustered he would have gotten had he been awake. "I know, I know. We were kids. You didn't mean it that way. Heh, I remember like it was yesterday. I was six and Ginta broke my heart when he said no one would ever marry a tomboy like me. I was crushed. You never could handle tears… You told me that you would happily marry me, when we got older… I was so happy. That's when I fell in love with you, and it's only grown stronger as I have." She smiled, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "Someday, I'm going to hold you to that promise."

Confident that he was sound asleep, she leaned over him and placed a gentle, loving kiss on his forehead. He sighed in his sleep. She left, locking the door behind her.

(A/N And there you have it. Please, please review. I will appreciate any sort of review. A flame, one word, along comment, anything really. Thanks!)


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